Saturday, November 24, 2007

something is wrong with me

ok, so last night i checked my email and saw that there was going to be a birthday party tonight for one of the people i work with. i was excited and thought that i would definitely want to go. i went to bed early!

i woke up this morning with basically a panicked feeling because of the thought of going to this party. i was going to have to call someone to get directions and then of course wait around all day for the party to start and finally attend the party.

i sat around for a while trying to talk myself into going. i also did a lot of talking myself out of going. it's amazing how many reasons my psycho brain could come up with in order to convince me that i should just stay home and continue to be a freak instead of going out and having a great time with funny people who i like.

well here i am, writing this blog post, so i'm sure you can draw the conclusion that my hermit side won out again. i was literally sitting here feeling like i was going to throw up until i finally decided to stay home. i really don't think you are supposed to have that kind of reaction to something that's supposed to be FUN, are you???

i already seize up whenever i have to use the phone, now i'm afraid to go to a party too? soon i am seriously going to be unable to leave the house and i will definitely be the crazy cat lady one day. i don't know what to do??

1 comment:

Anti_Freak_Machine said...

I'm convinced nobody likes doing the social scene thing and they just pretend. Some things are ok....like when you get to whip baseballs at overweight mens heads who are playing or peeing in the park. Maybe the trick is to surround yourself with a protective layer of vaseline before going out. The world may never know. I do know it feels kinda nice.