Sunday, September 28, 2008

why is it always my fault?

It is, you know. I'm not exaggerating when I say that it's always my fault. You walked past me and didn't say anything, then you asked me if I was grouchy, because I didn't speak. Yesterday you didn't even say hello, and that was ok, but if I don't speak, it's because I don't like you. What's that about?

And then I came home, and someone else got mad at me. I wasn't happy enough when you told me to do something. I wasn't jumping for joy or whatever the hell else you wanted me to do when you told me to stay home 3 days in a row for you, to do you a "favor", so then you got pissed at me and haven't spoken to me for 2 days.

It's always my fault. I'm tired of it always being my fault.

Monday, September 22, 2008

YouTube has melted my brain

Here are two YouTube videos that I watch over and over and laugh and laugh, and they are both completely stupid and pointless and the second one really should be evaluated by a professional mental health care worker, but I like them. And so what is mine is yours. Enjoy!

Honorable mention: MANtage by BaratsandBerata

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Mighty Life List

Here are 58 things (and counting) that I would like to accomplish with my life before it's over. It's a fairly trivial list, but I have been leading a trivial life. I wish I could say I've made a difference in someone's life, but I feel for the most part I have only brought pain and strife.

I have been making more of an effort to be a better person, someone that I would be proud of, and someone who puts others first. I don't know exactly what I'm doing here, and I feel pretty lost most of the time. All I know for sure is that I'm tired of feeling worthless and like the world would be better without me in it. I need to figure out who I am, I need to figure out what will make me happy and get out there and do it. I want to be important to someone, I want someone to remember my name. I wish I could figure out how.

I'm 25 years old, and I don't have the slightest clue what to do with my life. I don't know who I can love, I don't know who I can trust. Things are so irreversibly complicated and I almost feel that I can't keep my head above water. I want to run away and live in a shack in the mountains and just be alone. It seems no one understands me, no one can see who I am. I sound so emo bullshit right now, but I'm crying out to strangers to help me find some way to figure out who I am.

Anyway, on to my list. What do you want to do with your life?

Ø Go to Disney World again

Ø Ride in a hot air balloon

Ø Win a major award

Ø Go into space

Ø Be the change I want to see in the world

Ø Be a leader

Ø Be elected to some public office

Ø Successfully re-pot a plant FOR ONCE

Ø Ride a horse

Ø Travel overseas.

Ø Get a teaching job

Ø See the Grand Canyon

Ø Go back to Cali

Ø Walk the whole Golden Gate Bridge

Ø Picnic in the Redwoods

Ø Touch an elephant

Ø See a volcano in Hawaii

Ø Get a hole in one at golf

Ø Go to the Memorial tournament

Ø Run the whole time in a 5K.

Ø Run the Flying Pig again

Ø Go to Vegas

Ø Learn Spanish

Ø Make a difference

Ø Fall in love

Ø Get my master's degree

Ø Learn how to putt

Ø Ride a motorcycle

Ø Waterski

Ø Parasail.

Ø Ride a four wheeler on a beach

Ø Go on a cruise

Ø Go spelunking

Ø Climb a mountain

Ø Go hiking

Ø Go to an Ohio State football game

Ø Learn how to fly a plane

Ø Ride in a helicopter

Ø Find a friend I can count on

Ø Buy a new car.

Ø Get my own place

Ø Bowl another 200 game

Ø Get a golf score in the 30's OMG 7/23 I shot a 36!

Ø Start the lawnmower by myself

Ø Go on a roadtrip

Ø Be on Jeopardy!

Ø Watch a Broadway show

Ø Go to NYC at New Year

Ø Survive NYC at New Year.

Ø Run the Ecothon

Ø Fly a kite

Ø Find myself

Ø Regrow my tiny heart

Ø Volunteer

Ø Sky dive

Ø Learn to dance

Ø Build something.

Ø Travel to all 50 states

Free Hugs

I just want everyone to know that I am, and have always been, pro-hug.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Whitening Follies

So, I'm pretty into me. I'm more into me than anyone else, which is fine. Anyway, part of me being into me is my fantastically white teeth. You might think I was born with these pearly whites, and you would be right. However, I like to touch up now and then with some chemical enhancements (I'm sorry, am I still talking about teeth whiteners?)

So, I'm going to share with you, while I sit here with my Crest Whitestrip on my teeth. I don't like Crest Whitestrips.

At all.

For one, they're expensive. More than anything else, for whatever reason. And secondly, they're messy. You have to peel the little plastic strip from the little plastic other strip. And I don't have much in the way of fingernails because I enjoy them often as a tasty afternoon snack. So I end up mushing the end of the Whitestrip all to hell just trying to get it off the thing it's already on.

Then you have to mash this little thin piece of plastic onto your teeth while trying to keep your lips out of the way, which I failed to do, and now my lips are tingling, and not in a good way (I'm sorry, still talking about teeth?)

And then there's the taste. Barf. Blech. Boo and hiss and much knashing of teeth. Gross, in a word. And also, apparently it's going to take me 2 times a day and 5 days to see any results. WTF.

Aquafresh White Trays, on the other hand, are easier to put on, easier to get out of the package, taste better, work in only 3 days, and are in general, much more awesome. And your teeth can be as magnificently white as mine.

SO, the point is, when you're whitening your teeth, don't use Crest Whitestrips. Instead, use Aquafresh White Trays! They're better.

You'll feel just like this when you're done.

P.S. I've got a whole box of Crest Whitestrips, if anyone out there wants them for a discounted price of $480 (approx. half off) . Not that you would.