Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Whitening Follies

So, I'm pretty into me. I'm more into me than anyone else, which is fine. Anyway, part of me being into me is my fantastically white teeth. You might think I was born with these pearly whites, and you would be right. However, I like to touch up now and then with some chemical enhancements (I'm sorry, am I still talking about teeth whiteners?)

So, I'm going to share with you, while I sit here with my Crest Whitestrip on my teeth. I don't like Crest Whitestrips.

At all.

For one, they're expensive. More than anything else, for whatever reason. And secondly, they're messy. You have to peel the little plastic strip from the little plastic other strip. And I don't have much in the way of fingernails because I enjoy them often as a tasty afternoon snack. So I end up mushing the end of the Whitestrip all to hell just trying to get it off the thing it's already on.

Then you have to mash this little thin piece of plastic onto your teeth while trying to keep your lips out of the way, which I failed to do, and now my lips are tingling, and not in a good way (I'm sorry, still talking about teeth?)

And then there's the taste. Barf. Blech. Boo and hiss and much knashing of teeth. Gross, in a word. And also, apparently it's going to take me 2 times a day and 5 days to see any results. WTF.

Aquafresh White Trays, on the other hand, are easier to put on, easier to get out of the package, taste better, work in only 3 days, and are in general, much more awesome. And your teeth can be as magnificently white as mine.

SO, the point is, when you're whitening your teeth, don't use Crest Whitestrips. Instead, use Aquafresh White Trays! They're better.

You'll feel just like this when you're done.

P.S. I've got a whole box of Crest Whitestrips, if anyone out there wants them for a discounted price of $480 (approx. half off) . Not that you would.

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